Sunday, December 14, 2008

A Tough Week

This week is my last week with our little foster baby...I can't even type that without crying! He has not been an easy baby at all. I have been in somewhat of a hole these last 6 months. I believe that we did what we were supposed to do. On the other hand I really went into this, at first, thinking we were going to be able to adopt him. I didn't realize that a system was not willing to give to him the resources that we might need to help him. There have been so many things go on with this case that it would make a normal person's mind spin...yet we were blessed to have him for these 6 months. Blessed and cursed...man has it been hard!
His mom is not ready to have him back, and I feel after knowing her for these 6 months, that she won't ever be ready to have all three of her kids. More than likely they will end up back in the system. Statistically they will be back in a foster home. Statistically the mom will end up back on drugs. This is not the first rehab she has been in and her mom is still an addict and has been one for 30+ years. She took both her kids there today for the afternoon.
Hey, let's give her another chance...how am I supposed to do this??? What did I get myself into...me and my good effing deeds! I am a mess! I really don't know how to get through this~
This is all I can say tonight.

1 comment:

Shop Girl said...

Someone very wise once told me that you've got to do your best with what your best is TODAY. Tomorrow's may different, just like yesterday's was. Focus on healing the way is right for you TODAY.:) As for the the baby, this is where faith comes in and the courage to just resign yourself to the knowledge that what's meant to be finds its away. It's out of your hands now and all you can do is just hope and pray for the best for that sweet child. I'm not a hugely religious person, but I do believe that although we may not always get what we want, we ALWAYS get what we need.

Be gentle with yourself.