After yesterdays screaming blog I thought I need to lighten it up a bit.
When I get stressed I eat. I am trying hard to overcome this, so now instead, I cook. You might be thinking, "Hhhmmm, that sounds the same Amber." While it is similar, it is not raiding the pantry and eating the cookies and crackers and any other after school snacks I have stored.
Cooking calms me. I have really found that it is like meditation for me. It is just me, all my ingredients, maybe a glass of wine and my thoughts to ponder. I have found that it centers me.
I have been reading a lot of blogs lately. I have found some fabulously creative blogs. Decorating blogs, crafty blogs, and food blogs have been a source of comfort for me with all the politics and other negative things out there recently. I find myself drawn into a place where people want to talk paper and glue or goat cheese and peaches. Goat cheese and peaches make me smile!!!
Last night I made a recipe from one of my favorite blogs called FoodPornDaily.com, I love that name. I made stuffed portabello mushrooms with a side salad with balsamic dressing! I am telling you thick cut bacon, apples, onions, baby bok choy, parsley and chevre and freshly grated Parmesan sauteed and stuffed into a giant mushroom cap! YUMMY!!!! My house still smells yummy this morning.
Bad Day? What bad day?
That is what I found myself saying last night when I sat down to share that meal with my husband.
I find it amazing, the power of food. (For the good and evil. :-) )
Tonight I am making a roasted vegetable soup from a blog called PinchMySalt.com and then going down to my favorite French bistro to get some fresh French Bread and visit with the fabulous french owners. I love listening to them speak! Maybe have a cappuccino and talk about France for a while, that makes me smile too!
I will let you know how it goes tomorrow! :-)
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Monday, October 27, 2008
What's Important
Turning on the news this morning with depressing news. It just struck me especially sad this morning for some reason. There are just so many senseless murders, but don’t you dare even hint that you want to restrict my right to “bear arms”. Then I got a call from my husband and he told me that our really good friend’s mother was murdered yesterday by his brother. He was on drugs more than likely when he killed her. The details are still emerging as you could imagine.
I then took our little foster baby to his mother who is currently in a drug rehab. When I showed up there were several police cars in the parking lot. When I walked in to drop off this little baby there were three police officers and a woman that I have seen for the last 4 months sitting in the lobby with red and swollen eyes full of despair, resignation, hopelessness and determination. The despair of never being able to get out of her current situation, it must look so daunting. The resignation of giving in to the cycle of abuse and sickness, it must seem so strong. The hopelessness of the dark and dirty place you never seem that far from, it must be so frightening. The determination of a drug addict who will do anything for a fix, abandon her children, her sanity, and her soul.
I stood there staring at her, not even realizing I was staring because I wanted to run up to her and beg her not to leave everything she had worked so hard to achieve. I stood there with tears in my eyes fighting the urge to beg this mother not to leave her children. I was then approached by a stranger and told to give the baby to her so she could remove him from this volatile situation and she would deliver him to his mom. I then gave her the baby and diaper bag and she disappeared. I stood there for a second more and while I looked at this fellow mother sitting with tears streaming down her face and police standing around her, she looked up at me and I started crying and turned to walk out the door. As I waked to my car, there was a police officer talking on the phone telling the person on the other end that she just wants to leave and they were trying to get a hold of her parole officer to talk some sense in her but it was doubtful it would help because this woman was determined. She would go straight to jail, her two children straight to a foster home or if none could be found then, a holding center until one could be found.
Her children are at school. When they get out more than likely they will be greeted by a social worker and police officer and told that their mom won’t be able to take care of them. They will know what that means because they have been living in a drug rehab with her and know far to much for their very young age. They will be scared and there will be tears and hopefully someone with compassion to hold them while they are escorted to their new home for the time being.
As this election season finally draws to an end, today’s events have made me think. I have heard so many people talking, debating, and arguing about things like gun control and our right to own a damn gun. How imposing more taxes or any more regulations on fire arms would be so wrong. I have also heard a lot about taxes and how this person will raise your taxes and that person will cut your taxes. I have heard people argue about gay marriage and the impact that it will have on your right as a parent or our morality as a society. What about animal rights? They should be able to move in their cages and have a happy life as they are waiting to be killed for our consumption. While these issues are all important they are not the most important.
I do NOT hear anyone talking about these children that are motherless! I hear no one arguing about how our foster system is so broken that in a lot of cases they have to wait in a facility with 80 other children ages 11 and under, for homes because there aren’t any for them to go into. I have not gotten any emails about the amount of neglect or child abuse that goes on. I hear no one yelling about how broken our court systems are and how our drug programs are not working. There are about 1400 foster children in just San Diego county and there about 700 foster homes. These children are neglected and abused and there is no money for any rehabilitation or therapy for children under the age of three. NO money people, for the babies that can be greatly helped by play therapy or good doctors. You can’t even take these little people to good doctors because they are all on MediCal and community clinics are the only ones that will take MediCal.
This is an issue that is in every city, in every state. As a Christian I feel it is my responsibility to be an advocate for the orphan, I believe it is of every Christian. The Bible has made that abundantly clear. Somehow be part of the solution! Stop being so scared that your rights as a parent will be somehow taken away by the government, trust me…you can abuse drugs and your child, be in prison and still have parental rights to your child! You would even have the ability to say yes or no to someone else giving your child a simple hair cut! (Seriously!) What could have more of an impact on society? These children are growing up and will one day be the ones responsible for making a difference in our cities, good or bad.
Think about it!
I then took our little foster baby to his mother who is currently in a drug rehab. When I showed up there were several police cars in the parking lot. When I walked in to drop off this little baby there were three police officers and a woman that I have seen for the last 4 months sitting in the lobby with red and swollen eyes full of despair, resignation, hopelessness and determination. The despair of never being able to get out of her current situation, it must look so daunting. The resignation of giving in to the cycle of abuse and sickness, it must seem so strong. The hopelessness of the dark and dirty place you never seem that far from, it must be so frightening. The determination of a drug addict who will do anything for a fix, abandon her children, her sanity, and her soul.
I stood there staring at her, not even realizing I was staring because I wanted to run up to her and beg her not to leave everything she had worked so hard to achieve. I stood there with tears in my eyes fighting the urge to beg this mother not to leave her children. I was then approached by a stranger and told to give the baby to her so she could remove him from this volatile situation and she would deliver him to his mom. I then gave her the baby and diaper bag and she disappeared. I stood there for a second more and while I looked at this fellow mother sitting with tears streaming down her face and police standing around her, she looked up at me and I started crying and turned to walk out the door. As I waked to my car, there was a police officer talking on the phone telling the person on the other end that she just wants to leave and they were trying to get a hold of her parole officer to talk some sense in her but it was doubtful it would help because this woman was determined. She would go straight to jail, her two children straight to a foster home or if none could be found then, a holding center until one could be found.
Her children are at school. When they get out more than likely they will be greeted by a social worker and police officer and told that their mom won’t be able to take care of them. They will know what that means because they have been living in a drug rehab with her and know far to much for their very young age. They will be scared and there will be tears and hopefully someone with compassion to hold them while they are escorted to their new home for the time being.
As this election season finally draws to an end, today’s events have made me think. I have heard so many people talking, debating, and arguing about things like gun control and our right to own a damn gun. How imposing more taxes or any more regulations on fire arms would be so wrong. I have also heard a lot about taxes and how this person will raise your taxes and that person will cut your taxes. I have heard people argue about gay marriage and the impact that it will have on your right as a parent or our morality as a society. What about animal rights? They should be able to move in their cages and have a happy life as they are waiting to be killed for our consumption. While these issues are all important they are not the most important.
I do NOT hear anyone talking about these children that are motherless! I hear no one arguing about how our foster system is so broken that in a lot of cases they have to wait in a facility with 80 other children ages 11 and under, for homes because there aren’t any for them to go into. I have not gotten any emails about the amount of neglect or child abuse that goes on. I hear no one yelling about how broken our court systems are and how our drug programs are not working. There are about 1400 foster children in just San Diego county and there about 700 foster homes. These children are neglected and abused and there is no money for any rehabilitation or therapy for children under the age of three. NO money people, for the babies that can be greatly helped by play therapy or good doctors. You can’t even take these little people to good doctors because they are all on MediCal and community clinics are the only ones that will take MediCal.
This is an issue that is in every city, in every state. As a Christian I feel it is my responsibility to be an advocate for the orphan, I believe it is of every Christian. The Bible has made that abundantly clear. Somehow be part of the solution! Stop being so scared that your rights as a parent will be somehow taken away by the government, trust me…you can abuse drugs and your child, be in prison and still have parental rights to your child! You would even have the ability to say yes or no to someone else giving your child a simple hair cut! (Seriously!) What could have more of an impact on society? These children are growing up and will one day be the ones responsible for making a difference in our cities, good or bad.
Think about it!
Saturday, October 25, 2008
A Random Saturday
I went to bed last night exhausted! I have had a friends 11 year old daughter for the week and they have been sleeping in the front living room. On top of that at any weekday morning or afternoon I have at least 3 or 4 girls either getting ready in the morning or doing homework after school. The mess has been overwhelming! On top of that having a baby that zaps any energy you have because of the incessant whining and crying, it all has just been a little overwhelming. (Hhhmmm, that's the second time I have used that word in just a little paragraph.) I have not been taking care of myself either for example, not sleeping enough, drinking a little too much red wine, not eating well, not getting enough sunshine, not exercising...I think you get the picture.
This week I got a wake up call! This is not who I am!!!
Okay, refocus!
I am starting a cleanse Tuesday.
I am going through my cupboards today. Oh, the shame of what is lurking in there! This is how bad it is...I have two boxes of Top-of-Ramen in there!
It has been such an easy slide with all the kids that want snacks, to buy the cheap, easy, crappy snack food. What's wrong with ripe organic apples with natural organic peanut butter. It might take a little effort on my part but I want them to have good food and not just filler food.
I also want an organized house! Oh, I want that so bad! I am not the best at this! I was reading a blog the other day from one of my favorite artists and she was talking about how she always has a house full of High School boys and girls. She was talking about how she has this huge table and art supplies out all the time and the kids will just sit down and do little crafts, even high school football players! That totally inspired me! I love that! In a society where art is taken out of most public and private schools, to have a place that they can come to and hang out and get creative, I think that is just fabulous! Before I can make that happen I need to get a little organized. I need to find all my art supplies and make them available for use! (There's an idea. LOL!)
So this morning after crashing way before my husband last night, I woke up and found that my entire house was spotless and coffee was freshly made. It was like the cleaning fairy had come in the middle of the night and quickly and quietly cleaned and made coffee. Of course there is no cleaning fairy, but there is my husband! Yes, that is right! As I slept, he stayed up and cleaned and then made coffee this morning before he went to work. It is Saturday and he will be working all day and most of this evening. (Who said owning your own business is all that?) That is L.O.V.E!!!
Tomorrow is the start of competition season for Michayla's cheerleading. We will meet the team in a parking lot at 6am to drive down to San Diego to attend our 1st competition for the year. Let me tell you these girls look FABULOUS!!! Last year we got to go to Nationals in Florida and this year I am pretty sure we will be doing the same! Michayla is doing her back handspring in the routine this year so I am a little nervous but she is so great out there on that floor! It will be a LONG day tomorrow, but these are the memories I will take with me forever! We will have our car decorated with all the green silver and white we can get our hands on and will spend some of today making banners and signs for the parents. We will spend hours on putting curlers in hair and then another hour at the end of the day trying to figure out a way she can sleep comfortably with all those crazy things in her head! We will spend tomorrow screaming for our other O'side teams and be exhausted after laughing, crying(there is usually a lot of that happening at the end, win or lose), and dancing (you know the Cha-Cha slide and such). In the end the exhaustion is well worth it!
Quick note...Our football team is in the playoffs right now and if they win the championship (which they came within one game last year, but we had reffs that were paid off, long story..) they would go to Florida also. I think it would be the coolest thing if we all got to go together! That almost never happens! O'side ROCKS!!!! GO LIGHTNING PIRATES!!!!!!!!
Friday, October 24, 2008
HSM3
Last year we had a countdown going until the premier of HSM2, for those of you that do not have pre-teen daughters that is High School Musical 2. We had a very big (expensive) party with decorations to the hilt! We had about 35 girls that erupted in screams after they all completed the 10 second countdown and then didn't make a sound until the end of the movie. 
Well, the time has come again! HSM3, EEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!! We bought our tickets online we run no risk of it being sold out and we downloaded the soundtrack so we can listen to it on the way there and the way home. I am just grateful that this will be less expensive than having some giant party at my house and then have to clean up a giant mess! So here we go, in our pajamas by the way. The girls convinced me that it would be more fun if we were wearing pajamas. Hhhmmm....don't know about that, but okay!
I just talked to my friend that got home from Paris and there were High School Musical 3 posters in the airport there! That made me laugh! :-)
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
I AM....
Well, like I said earlier, I was thinking about writing a blog called I Am so here it is:
I AM…
Oh, I am forgetful! I am complex.
I am a mother and a wife. I am the thermostat in my home.
I am a democrat. I am also an independent. I am fascinated by politics, I am disgusted by politics.
I am a Christian. I hate religion!
I am very random in my thoughts and often in my actions. I am deliberate in my word.
I am a foster mommy. I hate the foster system!
I am a wine lover.
I am a dog lover.
I love to write but wish I wasn’t so self conscience!
I am a lover and a fighter!
I am a music fanatic.
I am a musician.
I sing.
I feel other people’s pain. I feel other people’s happiness.
I cry with my friends, and I cry with strangers.
I am alone.
I am loved. I love very deeply! So often I feel unloved.
I am an artist.
I am a runner.
I am passionate!!!
I am persuasive! I am passive.
I vote! I don’t trust any one man, except Jesus Christ!
I am not held by fear. I wish my fear didn’t control as much of my life as it did.
I am my daughter’s friend and mother. I am wondering if I can be both.
I am argumentative. I am a peacemaker.
I am a paradox!!!!
(can’t you tell???)
I AM…
Oh, I am forgetful! I am complex.
I am a mother and a wife. I am the thermostat in my home.
I am a democrat. I am also an independent. I am fascinated by politics, I am disgusted by politics.
I am a Christian. I hate religion!
I am very random in my thoughts and often in my actions. I am deliberate in my word.
I am a foster mommy. I hate the foster system!
I am a wine lover.
I am a dog lover.
I love to write but wish I wasn’t so self conscience!
I am a lover and a fighter!
I am a music fanatic.
I am a musician.
I sing.
I feel other people’s pain. I feel other people’s happiness.
I cry with my friends, and I cry with strangers.
I am alone.
I am loved. I love very deeply! So often I feel unloved.
I am an artist.
I am a runner.
I am passionate!!!
I am persuasive! I am passive.
I vote! I don’t trust any one man, except Jesus Christ!
I am not held by fear. I wish my fear didn’t control as much of my life as it did.
I am my daughter’s friend and mother. I am wondering if I can be both.
I am argumentative. I am a peacemaker.
I am a paradox!!!!
(can’t you tell???)
New Blog...How Exciting!!!
Can I just say it took me about an hour of pondering and talking to myself to come up with a title for my new blog. I am not sure how I like it still, and I am definitely going to have to figure out how to come up with my own cool layout. I have been reading other people's blogs and was unhappy with my site on Multiply so here I am.
You might be wondering why I seem to be on the computer all the time. (Or maybe you aren't and could care less.) Well, I have a foster baby who I am not really supposed to write about but he is very very fussy and as of lately, only happy if he is playing in his crib alone so that means I am housebound and the only people I talk to are the news anchors on T.V. (yeah, I know...sad huh?), my friends on the phone (they aren't answering much lately, hhhmmmm...), and myself (that is always such an interesting conversation!).
So, here I am with a new blog. Rambling Outloud Way Too Often, the title is appropriate for me but I don't know if I really like it. There is one other problem, outloud is supposed to be two words and not one but I don't think it looks right the "right" way. I have never been one to follow the spelling rules very well anyway! Well, we will see where this little blog goes. Please feel free to comment because that is almost like an adult talking to me and I will be so thrilled!
Off I go to try and figure out how to make this so very cute!
Tat-tah!!!
You might be wondering why I seem to be on the computer all the time. (Or maybe you aren't and could care less.) Well, I have a foster baby who I am not really supposed to write about but he is very very fussy and as of lately, only happy if he is playing in his crib alone so that means I am housebound and the only people I talk to are the news anchors on T.V. (yeah, I know...sad huh?), my friends on the phone (they aren't answering much lately, hhhmmmm...), and myself (that is always such an interesting conversation!).
So, here I am with a new blog. Rambling Outloud Way Too Often, the title is appropriate for me but I don't know if I really like it. There is one other problem, outloud is supposed to be two words and not one but I don't think it looks right the "right" way. I have never been one to follow the spelling rules very well anyway! Well, we will see where this little blog goes. Please feel free to comment because that is almost like an adult talking to me and I will be so thrilled!
Off I go to try and figure out how to make this so very cute!
Tat-tah!!!
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